


Rehearsals

by SirLancelotTheBrave



Series: Tumblr prompts and oneshots [4]
Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: BrOT4, Gen, and Athos is so annoyed but secretly so touched by their crazy antics, boys being adorable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-15
Updated: 2014-09-15
Packaged: 2018-02-17 11:44:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2308469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SirLancelotTheBrave/pseuds/SirLancelotTheBrave
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The boys need to practice if they'll be able to trick Milady into thinking they would ever turn on D'Artagnan, but can they be trusted to take their rehearsal seriously? (A clue: no). Or, D'Artagnan is a melodramatic puppy, Aramis and Porthos are no help at all, and Athos is ready to rip his hair out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rehearsals

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JEAikman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JEAikman/gifts).



> Prompt: the boys practicing their little deception. And being adorable about it.

D'Artagnan collapsed to the dust with a drawn out moan.

"Athos!" Aramis cried broken-heartedly. "You've killed him!" He sounded distraught, and his eyes widened with horror.

Of course, the effect was greatly ruined by the smile playing about the edges of his mouth.

Athos sighed, swiping a hand across his face as D'Artagnan began giggling on the ground. "Can no one take this seriously?" he asked the silent forest around them. Porthos began chuckling as well.

"Oh, come off it, Athos," Porthos grinned, reaching down to haul D'Artagnan back to his feet. "It's just a bit of fun."

Athos glared at him. "Need I remind you that this needs to fool one of the most deadly murderesses in France?" he asked icily.

D'Artagnan adopted a mock serious face and nodded earnestly, though Aramis had yet to finish chuckling. "Yes, Athos," they chorused. Athos rolled his eyes heavenward, praying for strength.

"Alright, let's try this again." Athos stepped into position and went through the rehearsed dialogue, accusing D'Artagnan of betraying him and pulling out a gun to shoot him. It all went well until the moment he was actually supposed to fire the shot.

Porthos threw back his head and shouted "BANG," with gleeful abandon, and D'Artagnan swooned like a maiden, dropping daintily to the dirt with one hand lying implausibly across his forehead in an utterly ridiculous pose.

"Nooooooo!" Aramis cried dramatically, dropping to his knees beside the youngest Musketeer and pulling his limp form into his lap. "He was so young, Athos, so young!"

Porthos quickly joined in. "How could you, you brute!" he yelled, cradling D'Artagnan's head as the boy began to cackle.

Athos groaned. "Please, just once, can we try to do it right just once?" he ground out.

"Ahh, don't be so serious," Porthos said, waving a hand dismissively as he pulled Aramis to his feet, leaning casually on the smaller man's shoulder. Aramis just grinned cheekily at him.

"Sorry, Athos," D'Artagnan muttered, having the grace to at least look ashamed.

"Let's try it again," Athos sighed. He supposed he ought to be grateful he hadn't insisted on one of them playing Anne's role. He wasn't sure he could handle that much aggravation in one evening.

It went better this time. Aramis and Porthos played their roles to the letter, and Athos felt his stomach clench with unease at the thought of actually performing this little charade. He raised the stick they were using as a gun, thinking of all the things that could go wrong. What if he killed D'Artagnan accidentally?

In retrospect, he should have known such a perfect attempt was too good to be true. Just before he pulled the 'trigger' D'Artagnan's eyes glinted mischievously

He flopped to the ground, sprawling in the dust with an overzealous groan. Then he curled into a ball, clutching dramatically at his stomach and whimpering outrageously.

Athos glared at him as the boy met his eye, but for once D'Artagnan was uncowed.

"Athos!" he cried theatrically, half rising only to flop back again. "How could you do this to me? You were my _best friend_! I thought you loved me!"

Aramis and Porthos were snickering, and despite himself Athos could feel his lips twitching. D'Artagnan rolled across the ground, kicking up a cloud of dust.

"You have betrayed me!" he shouted mournfully. "Dying, I am dying! Aramis, Porthos, avenge me, if ever I meant anything to you!"

The two men in question dropped to their knees beside him, all pretense of grief gone as they howled with laughter at the boy's theatrics.

D'Artagnan twitched in the dust for a few moments more and at last fell back, letting out a ridiculously long death rattle that ended with another spasm. His head flopped to the side, his tongue sticking out like a dog's.

Then he began to shake again, this time with laughter as his eyes snapped open once more. Porthos had his hands braced against the ground, laughter still rumbling out of him, and Aramis's breath was coming in wheezes as he clutched Porthos's shoulder for support.

Athos found himself grinning stupidly at the antics, his earlier discomfort gone. They would have to do it for real eventually, but for now the infantile way his brothers were treating the matter made the whole thing much more bearable.

He threw up his hands in defeat and tossed the stick aside, pulling a bottle of wine from the saddle bags. The other three scrambled to their feet immediately, eyeing him hopefully, so he sighed and pulled out a second bottle.

"Children, the lot of you," he said, shaking his head, but he couldn't keep the affection from his voice. His brothers just grinned at him and began squabbling over the bottle as Athos wandered over to the fire and sat down, smirking to himself at their antics.

A few moments later they joined him, Porthos clutching the bottle with a triumphant smile while Aramis attempted to wheedle it away. D'Artagnan shot Athos a pleading glance, an expression remarkably like that of a puppy on his face. Athos rolled his eyes and handed over the bottle.

Aramis had convinced Porthos to share and held aloft his bottle, smiling. "To excellent plans!"

Porthos snatched it away, smirking when Aramis squawked in displeasure. "To taking down the Cardinal!"

D'Artagnan grinned and added, "To fine wine!"

Athos chuckled and took the bottle back. "To brothers." Three faces grinned at him as he drank, and he heard Aramis and Porthos begin arguing over their bottle again.

He sat back, permitting D'Artagnan to swipe his bottle once more. The future would come, and it would be grim, but for tonight, he could allow himself some happiness.

* * *

 

**I've included the original request below since I took a lot of the dialogue directly from it (to be fair, it was almost a fic already, I basically only wrote the details):**

Okay so I already posted this on the kinkmeme but:

rehearsals for the boy's plan to shoot d'Art and fool Milady

They all meet secretly in the woods or somewhere discreet and improvise until they get it right, but d'Art keeps flopping to the ground dramatically every time that Athos pretends to shoot him, swooning like a pretty maiden and all that.

Then when he's on the floor he'll clutch at his stomach and groan and whimper like a wounded animal and be like

"But you were my _best friend_ , Athos, how could you do this to meeeee? I thought you loved me? I AM BETRAYED. DYING I AM DYING ARAMIS, PORTHOS AVENGE ME, IF I EVER MEANT ANYTHING TO YOU"

And the other two who are supposed to be hovering worriedly over him just collapse in fits of giggles next to him whilst Athos sighs and is like "can we please be serious for a moment - we do have to fool the most deceiving of murderesses here?" but he secretly loves that his friends are such dorks about it because it makes the whole thing so much more bearable

**Author's Note:**

> Liked it? Let me know in the comments!
> 
> You can find me on tumblr as lancelot-is-flying-the-tardis


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